Thursday, May 26, 2005

Hooters

Sigh.

A rep from our company came to visit the office today and took us out to lunch.
Normally I don't go, for a variety of reasons.

Well, Vulk asked where we would like to go and since I never go I said just go to the usual place. Vulk asks if that's ok with everyone and everyone agrees it's ok. So far, so good.

Turns out that Hooters is the regular place they go to for lunch. I roll my eyes and then start becoming an irritant to my fellow employees.

For several reasons I abhor Hooters.
First off, that fucking name really pisses me off, and that sign with the owl's eyes. Mabye I'm a stick in the mud but c'mon...

Why not name the place Tits instead? Why play the game of "hey, let's go to Hooters!" wink wink?

The food is deplorable. Bad. It sucks. Deep fried stuff that was supposed to resemble chicken. Yuk.

I got the chicken quesadilla and now I don't feel so good.

Anyhow, all of the "girls" have new outfits. They're all black now. Our analysis of this color change is that we suppose that black is slimming, and therefore the change. We pondered how much research went in to what color best titillates middle aged men.

And yeah, "girls" gets quotes cuz that's what they are. In fact, they come off as children to me. They sure aren't women.

So, we have this capitalist venture that supposedly caters to families, has a big owl on the front with really big eyes on it, and the wait staff is all "girls" with cleavage and hot pants.

I'm watching the interplay between the "girls" and the customers and it just gives me a very unclean feeling. I said to another fellow at the table that this seems like a one-off of kiddie porn to me.

The whole atmosphere is about objectifying not women but young girls, and selling crappy food while we're at it.

The swingline or whatever you call it properly, is so blatantly sexist it's appalling. In this day of computerized order taking and processing, they have a swingline that the "girl" has to reeeeeaaaach up to and hook the order on, and then zip it off to the kitchen. This is also a noisy endeavor as the "girls" yell something indecipherable as they zip the order to the kitchen. They might as well just yell "hey look at me, I'm arching way up to reach the swingline, check me out!"

Ok, so this is natural biology at it's finest. Young "girls", old men drooling and eating while drooling and leering at young "girls".

Geesh, I sound like a feminist...maybe.

Here's the other thing that intrigues me about Hooters here in Virginia.
Virginia is blueblood conservative with it's fair share of religous types. As I surveyed the crowd, I found the typical 40-50 yr old male dressed in business casual, and the younger blue collar set, and a couple of NASCAR fans with their girlfriends. Also, a couple of "girls" at a table by themselves. Turns out they were friends of one of the Hooter's "girls".

Anyhow, I didn't see any families like they show in the commercials.

And I have to wonder what kind of chit chat goes on at the table when mom and dad, son and daughter, are eating at Hooters.

"Hey dad, check out the tits on that one, her ass is looking fine too."
"Yeah son, your mom used to have an ass like that until she had you and your sister."
"But dad, mom still has a great set knockers."
"Yes daughter, she does. If you keep eating those chicken wings, you'll have an ass like mom used to, and you can come here and pick up one of these fine gentlemen over there, or over that way."
"Honey, quit telling her that!! You don't get an ass like I used to have by eating chicken wings!!"
Whole family: "HA HA HA HA HA HA"

Thus, I am an irritant to my fellow coworkers at Hooters.

1 Opinions:

Anonymous SFHill speaks!

I was at the beach w/ my kids last week and they noticed a Hooters billboard. It said:

"Kid's eat free"

Funny that a national company named Hooters would have a grammatical error on their billboard. I'm inclined to think that it is intentional.

7:16 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home